Members of a popular internet forum were quick to defend a man who explained why he takes two of his three nephews on vacation but not the third.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA**hole, Redditor u/Tobeadessertman (aka the original poster or OP) said he hosted the three boys to prepare for the trip and told of the Events that left a nephew outside in.
Captioned: “[Am I the a**hole] for taking two of my nephews on vacation but not the other one?” the post has garnered nearly 11,000 votes and 1,600 comments in the last six hours.
The original poster said he was childless and doing a good job, and he recently decided to take his three nephews – two from his sister Lisa and one from his sister Annie – on a 14-day trip to the seaside.
But before he embarked on the trip, the original poster said he was taking all three boys with him for a weekend to gauge how a two-week vacation would feel for the whole group.
“The guys came and in the beginning we had a great time,” OP wrote. “I [ordered] we pizza, we watched a movie, played football etc.
However, after a great first night, the original poster said the next morning brought nothing but chaos – and a difficult decision.
“I woke them up and gave them cereal [8-year-old] throws the cereal on the floor and says, ‘I have waffles for breakfast,'” the OP wrote. “He said he doesn’t like cereal [and] I told him he could just have toast with peanut butter or some fruit. He yelled at me for not making him waffles.”
“That day he also cut my shirt for not allowing him biscuits for lunch and told me I sucked for telling him to eat his veggies,” OP continued. “He was [a] Nightmare.”
“When my sister came to pick her up, I told Annie what happened and she said, ‘Oh, he’s just cocky.’ I told her I wasn’t taking him on vacation,” OP added. “My parents and some aunts bit my head off because I treated the kids differently and refused a boy to go to the sea just because he misbehaved once.”
The typical family beach vacation usually involves parents and children piling up to a fully loaded car, trying to remain polite long enough to ensure everyone is having at least the appearance of a good time.
A vacation with an uncle, aunt, or other relative outside of the immediate family can look similar—but with the potential for a lot more fun.
However, letting go with the jolly uncle and aunt or indulgent grandparents who encourage the occasional rule-breaker requires more care and involves even more bureaucracy than traveling with the parents.
From birth certificates and passports to relevant medical information, parenting website Hello Motherhood recommends that family members who are not parents bring written permission and other documents proving the children are with relatives who are capable of caring for each other taking care of them on vacation – and that’s just the paperwork the situation.
When it comes to vacationing with relatives, the issue of discipline can prove difficult for both adults and children.
Because uncles, aunts, grandparents, and other family members are not typically involved in disciplining children other than their own, there can be reluctance to enforce certain parenting rules, which can lead to overwhelming chaos and bad times for all involved.
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In his viral Reddit post, the original poster said that the idea of a tentative weekend with his nephews was to combat the potential for chaos and that he wanted to make sure the three boys under his care could get along well enough on their own. And when it became clear that couldn’t be done, the original poster decided to remove the most obvious culprit from the holiday equation.
Throughout the post’s comments section, Redditors defended that decision, calling out the angry family members of the original poster for wanting to overlook his nephew’s disruptive behavior.
“[Not the a**hole]’ wrote Redditor u/toomanydogs3 in the top comment of the post, which received almost 12,000 votes. “Your 8-year-old nephew has serious problems that his mother ignores.”
“Cut up a shirt because he couldn’t have cookies for lunch?” she questioned. “This is very disturbing behavior.”
Redditor u/ForgottenZodiac, whose comment has garnered nearly 10,000 votes, gave a similar response, applauding the original poster for not letting one nephew’s actions ruin the others’ vacation plans.
“You shouldn’t have to deal with a spoiled child if you don’t want to. [Especially] if it’s not yours,” they wrote. “Rewarding the other two nephews for being good and taking them is nice and super nice of you.”
In a separate comment that has garnered nearly 3,000 votes, Redditor called out u/teresajs OP’s sister and placed the burden of an extended family vacation on his other relatives, who were so concerned about his nephew being disfellowshipped.
“This is not a ‘one time misconduct,'” they wrote. “Your nephew is spoiled and out of control. At his age, that’s usually a result of poor upbringing.”
“If your relatives think your nephew deserves a vacation, they are welcome to take him with them,” they added.
news week asked u/Tobeadessertman for a comment.